Monday, June 1, 2009

Can you go back?

Once a bridge is burned, can you ever go back? I continue to dwell upon the concept of unity and what I need to do to contribute to unity. Today I dwell upon the idea of a bridge being burned. I can vividly see the bridges that have been burnt in my life. I remember the details and all of the frustration, anger, and hurt that built up ultimately leading to the bridge being burnt. What do you do once that has happened? The damage is done. The hurt is deep. The anger is burning. I understand the need to forgive - and yet what do you do with the charred remains? Even if the fire is put out - the smoldering remains leave very little to work with. I marvel at the ability of God to forgive. I struggle understanding how He can just wipe the slate clean and continue to love, deeply love, in the midst of all of the stupid & frustrating & hurtful things I do to my relationship with Him. I burn that bridge on a daily basis, and yet there he is pounding in new nails and boards to build it again. Its not enough for God to simply say well I tried enough - now I am done. God doesn't seem to allow for burnt bridges. Yet I do. Selfishly & emotionally I allow them to exist. I am ashamed at my behavior in light of the Truth of God. Yet, deep inside I sense an ugliness that will not let go of the hurt, pain, frustration and anger. Can burnt bridges be rebuilt? God seems to be an expert at it - what about me?