Friday, March 14, 2008

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives

Eliot Laurence Spitzer has had better moments in life I am sure. The recently exposed scandal that has brought down his term as governor of New York has been ugly. In light of all of it, the New York Post writer Cindy Adams decided it was important for her to write her own thoughts and opinions on the situation. Now I am definitely a fan of the First Amendment but every once in a while it disappoints me on how people use it. Her comments and subsequent support by Colin Cowherd on the radio was terrible. The comments reducing men to mere animals needing to satisfy their sex drive in whatever way possible was saddening. Even more saddening, though, was the support that seemed to say that the occasional "grazing" by a man during marriage was/is okay. In her words, "Paying a pro isn't disrespect to his wife." So somehow a man choosing to cheat once in a while (as long as it isn't in a long-term affair) is okay because it is normal, to be expected, and even a nice thing to do for his spouse. WHAT?! ! Cowherd in defending this position stated that marriage is the only thing we haven't allowed to evolve with the times. He even went on to say that he has never kept a coffee table longer than five years so how can marriage make sense. Comparing a wife to a coffee table? SERIOUSLY!?!! It saddened me deeply to hear about Spitzer. Not because I have any tie to New York or care about his politics. No, it saddened me because it was one more example of a guy betraying his spouse. And the support of it in the media (which thrives on the sensational journalism) was even more sickening. What has happened to our culture? I love my wife. I openly admit that I am not the best husband, I often screw up, say mean things, act selfishly/rude/disrespectful, and often do not think of how I can set her up for the most possible success in her life. I know that I could be so much better a husband to her. My goal is to spend the rest of my life trying to figure how to do that. The passage from Ephesians 5 is the blueprint upon which I strive to meet. The thing is that I do it not just because Christ tells me I should or because I feel guilty. I strive to "go all out in love" for her because that is what makes the most sense. If I am not completely loyal, loving, and serving to the person who I am supposed to love most in this world - why should anyone else trust me? What confidence can my kids have in me? Or my colleagues, friends, etc.? The measure of a man is the love & care he has for his spouse. Eliot Spitzer failed as a husband. I don't look down upon him because of that, I simply hope that he learns from his mistake(s). And contrary to Cindy Adams or Colin Cowherd it is not okay. The more men step up and love their spouses in this country the better off we as a society we will be. Marriage does not need to evolve, rather we as men need to learn how to make it work in an ever-changing, moral-decaying world.